I dont know what to do. Im wasting my holiday unproductively. Sigh. I thought I had many plans to do this holiday without regrettably wasting it. Each day, same things happened. Same routine for a month. Im too bored to do nothing but too lazy to do something. Why is this happening? Next year I will be regretting it for sure. Too much procrastinating, too lazy, dont feel productive at all.
I should chin up. I should buck up. All these things are not going to solve my problems. It's getting bigger and bigger like a balloon soon to be exploded. Next year. I dont want to think about it honestly. But those thoughts keep pondering in my mind and i cant resist from not thinking about it. :( I do think next year will be tough. Of course, i will be sitting for SPM and that feeling is making me sick. I cant bear to think about how i will be next year. I saw my seniors taking their SPM. They were busy like bees. Tuition, class after school, camp, bengkel, PISA. All those are exhausting and i'll be like them next year.
My mom put high expectation on me. Whenever i say that i want to be a doctor or i get good results or whatever i do, she will be always talking , 'So belajar la leklok, jadi doktor. Jangan main'. So i really dont want to keep her down. I wanna show her that her youngest daughter will make her proud. But of course, to make things happen it's a burden though. It's not easy. Unless im a genius. There was a time where, i showed bad results to her. Well i almost got F for my Addmath. She was just like, 'Kenapa mcm tu? Tu la main2. Takpela. Lain kali buat betul. Adik bolehnye.' It's great to have supportive mom. And i remember when I have a bunch of homeworks given by teacher she kept me accompanied late at night just to see if i was doing fine or not. Of course, she is the only one i live with. All my siblings go to university to study and some of them work at KL. Why would they work in KL. Pfftt =='
Having a sister-in-law is kinda awesome. It's pretty awkward for the first time, but things will work out. Oh yeah, my 2 brothers want to get married as well next year. T__T Ill be sitting for my SPM dude.
