Crappy.

Bismillahirrahmanirrahim. Assalamualaikum wbt.

It's the time for me to dust off the screen. Wow, it has been 3 months approximately since I wrote something in here. I really want to do some updating in here but I've been extremely busy and tired. Yeah tired. Im too tired. That's my favourite word for now. Being a university student means you actually giving your life away and sell your lovely soul. That's what exactly I feel once I entered CFS the second week of it. Im too excited to be told but that feeling was fading gradually. What exactly happen to me? Im not sure of myself.

It's tiring. Please, adik2 out there who really want to enter university and impatient to get out of school life, please dont be, DO NOT. Enjoy your highschool to the fullest. Dont expect university life to be full of freedom, can do outlaw things. Yeah it seems like a university students can wear casual clothes or high heels or wear a bit make up, donning that jubah and those dresses and much more. It seems so free ay? Bloody no. You might see this as a bright side of the former but actually it much worse that these. LOTS OF TUTORIALS AWAIT YOU. For every week you will have these little annoying things and you have to study like it's the end of the world. I week per chapter dude. And trust me, it's tougher than school syllabus.

For the first month of entering university, I lost quite amount of weight,  I ate biscuits all the time and one fourth portion from my usual meal. The heck right, and my friends were so worried about me and they even wanted to treat me for meal as long as I eat in that particular day.

Taking critical course so you will meet lots of genius students. Too many of them here. They got all A's in SPM and what more all A+'s! Giler kan. I feel so insecure being among of them. No, Im not one of them because I failed terribly during my tutorials and yeah... Allah je tahu perasan aku.

Sometimes, I feel like I m being excessively exaggerate and overly attached to people. I really need to change this towards better. I want to do good and take care of something before it breaks apart. No I dont want to imagine that. Allah.. Please guide me, and dont let me go astray. I dont want to go far from You. Please keep me safe with you.

Aku cemburu dengan orang yang imannya kukuh. Aku cemburu dengan muslimah yang tak memandang dan tak dipandang. Mampukah aku menjadi seperti mereka... Allah, bantu aku. Allah Allah Allah..

ps : Do you notice how crappy my post is? Tu sebab banyak benda aku pikir sampai tak terluah. Aku nak menangis. Tapi aku.. entahla.. Mungkin aku patut cari Dia. Assalamualaikum.