It was about 4 months after I moved that I managed to get along with people here, to be synchronized with the ambience. Wait was it 4 months? Im not sure myself but it took quite time. I hate people in here to be honest. They were totally snob, I really cant get along with them. The teachers were fierce and a lot of bad things kept happening to me when I was first transferred into that school. During those period, I've made my mom worried and felt sad. Yeah, I made her sad. Ya Allah, I really regret it. I just hate myself for making her cried.
I threw tantrums for almost everyday. I didnt go to school and cried every morning when I had to go to school. There was a time I skipped school for 4 days in a row. I said that I was sick to my teacher and friends but actually I did nothing at home. My mom nearly wanted to change my school to SMKSI but I refused for some reasons. I begged her to admit me into this boarding school at Terengganu. I nearly can change, but there was some technical problem due to whatever Im not sure of it. I heard my mom cried. I do feel guilty but well, my stubborness surpassed everything. She grieved and was totally disappointed in me. My siblings gave me advices, scolded me and even motivated me to move forward and stop this bad behaviour. But I was too obstinate and self-willed that time.
But everything has hikmah. I met my best friends who change my life towards better. I met Aqilah, then Aqila and lastly Umi. Umi was same with me, she's from Kelantan but transferred here 2 months after me. Alhamdulilah for everything that You've done to me ya Allah. You know what is best for me. I truly grateful for that, and now I want to do what a daughter should do. I want to make my mom happy. I really regret for making her sad. I cant no longer bear to see her crying because of me. I just want the tears that spill out of her eyes are meant for happy moments only. Those tears should be cherished not the other way around.
Allah, help me. Forgive her sins, keep her in Your rahmah, give her constant health and ease her businesses. Please give her happiness. I want to see her happy, please give me chance doing so during her lifetime ya Allah. I know Im not a good daughter but I want to be one for her. Give patience to me and keep me away from making her sad again. Protect her from hellfire ya Allah. Amin ya rabbal alamin. I really love my mom even after all predicaments that I've caused, she's still love me unconditionally. Ampunkan dosa aku ya Allah, sesungguhnya Kau Maha Pengampun.
Now Im thinking what should I do in order to make my mom happy?
I've jotted down some few things that I should do during my holiday here. Do the chores. Yup, chores. At the same time, I can practise doing something that I rarely do before. Like cooking and more. Let's see what are on the list : Mop and vacuum the floor, clean the dust, clean the bathroom and refrigerator, wash the clothes, fold them and put in the closet, learn to cook, wash the dishes, make bed and others!
Dont sleep after Subuh Dahlia! Ingat : YOU SNOOZE,YOU LOSE
Driving class went well alhamdulilah. I think because I wore different shoes that time that I managed to do great! And Pakcik Rashid said I've improved a bit! Yeayy :D Alright, thats all. My little Qaisara Raihanah dont want to sleep yet. It's almost 1 AM now. Sokay, keep blabbering things I dont understand Qaisara. Maksu love you. hehe
I really miss 90s songs.
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